Your Resume
IF YOU are out of work, it can be the key to open the door to a
new job that can be the blueprint of your entire future.
IF YOU are presently employed, but looking to better yourself
either financially or in your chosen field...
YOUR RESUME can be the key to opening new doors.
It is an AD about YOU
SOMEONE will look at it for possibly 20 seconds
and decide YOUR FUTURE
This website is devoted to helping YOU create a more
SUCCESSFUL RESUME
I am just getting this site up and running. A
wealth of material to sort through and get on
here, so check back often for updates.

A lot of this information will be found on my
BLOG.
SOME RESUME BLOOPERS - NOT RECOMMENDED TO USE

My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects
on time is unspeakable.

Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.

Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.

I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

I am a rabid typist.

Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail
order service on the side.

Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.

Proven ability to track down and correct erors.

Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far.

I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.

References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative
beggars and slave drivers.

My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I
should try stock brokerage.

I procrastinate -- especially when the task is unpleasant.

I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to respond to my resume on my
office voicemail.

Qualifications: No education or experience.

Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.

Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.

Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!

And at the bottom of a cover letter: Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from
you shorty!
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

I had an applicant years ago who I sent on an
interview to a local manufacturing company. I
knew the Personnel Director and
occasionally used him to help get an
applicant familiar with the "interview." I would
call him ahead of time and let him know if
this was the case, just a dry run.

When you are in the business you get to
know what type of employees certain
companies like to hire. I felt this applicant
would fit in well at this company. So I
arranged this interview.

The applicant came back, liked the company
and had no job offer, because no opening
existed at that time. He had been interviewed
for his own benefit.

I had him sit down and write a "Thank You for
the Interview" type of card, and we mailed it
right away.

I got a call the next afternoon from the
Personnel Director.

"Damn you, I hired that kid, I don't need him
right now, I have to find some spot to work
him in, but in all my years, no one has ever
sent me a "Thank You" card for interviewing
them. Dooley, you're a rat."

But, my plan worked, it's all a game.